Why Teaching Kids to Name Their Feelings Is One of the Greatest Gifts We Can Give Them
By Emily Larios, LCSW
Helping families build stronger relationships through connection, understanding, and practical tools for everyday life.
As parents, one of our greatest hopes is that our children grow into emotionally healthy, resilient adults. We want them to feel confident, communicate effectively, build healthy relationships, and navigate life's challenges with courage and self-awareness.
But before children can learn to manage their emotions, they first need to recognize them.
That sounds simple, but it's actually a skill that develops over time.
Many children experience big emotions before they have the words to describe what's happening inside. A child may say they're "mad" when they're actually feeling disappointed, embarrassed, worried, lonely, or overwhelmed. When children don't have the language to express those emotions, those feelings often show up through behaviors instead.
As adults, it's easy to focus on the behavior we see.
As parents, our greatest opportunity is to become curious about the feeling underneath it.
Every Emotion Has a Purpose
One of the most important lessons we can teach our children is that emotions are not "good" or "bad."
Every emotion serves a purpose.
Fear helps keep us safe.
Sadness helps us process loss.
Frustration lets us know something isn't working.
Joy reminds us to savor meaningful moments.
Even uncomfortable emotions have something valuable to teach us.
When children learn that all feelings are welcome—even if not all behaviors are acceptable—they begin to develop emotional safety. They learn that emotions aren't something to hide or fear. Instead, emotions become something they can notice, understand, and express in healthy ways.
Emotional Awareness Begins with Simple Conversations
Building emotional intelligence doesn't require perfect parenting or lengthy conversations.
Sometimes it starts with simple questions like:
How are you feeling today?
Where do you notice that feeling in your body?
What happened?
What do you think would help right now?
These questions teach children that emotions are something we can explore together—not something we have to fix immediately or avoid altogether.
Over time, children begin asking themselves these same questions, building the self-awareness and emotional regulation skills they'll carry with them throughout their lives.
Small Moments Matter
Children don't need perfect parents.
They need caring adults who are willing to slow down, listen, and help them make sense of what's happening inside.
The simple act of asking, "How are you feeling?" may seem small today, but those conversations send powerful messages:
My feelings matter.
Someone wants to understand me.
I'm not alone.
Those are lessons that can shape the way a child sees themselves and their relationships for years to come.
The goal isn't to eliminate big feelings.
The goal is to help our children understand that they don't have to face those feelings alone.
Every conversation, every moment of curiosity, and every opportunity to pause together is another step toward helping your child build emotional confidence that will serve them throughout life.
And perhaps just as importantly, those moments strengthen the relationship you share—one conversation at a time.
From one parent (and therapist) to another...
Thank you for taking the time to invest in your relationship with your child.
Parenting isn't about getting everything right. It's about showing up with love, curiosity, and a willingness to grow together. The conversations you have today—whether they're easy, messy, joyful, or difficult—are all opportunities to strengthen your relationship and help your child feel seen, heard, and understood.
No matter where you are in your parenting journey, I hope you leave here feeling encouraged, supported, and reminded that you're not alone. We're all learning as we go, and every small step toward connection matters.
With care,
Emily Larios, LCSW
Founder, Emily's Perspective
🌿 Continue the Conversation
If today's topic resonated with you, I invite you to explore the Emily's Perspective Resource Library—a growing collection of printable activities, conversation guides, workbooks, journals, and practical tools designed to help families strengthen connection and support children's emotional well-being.
This Week's Recommended Resource
Helping Big Feelings Collection – Emotion Check-In Worksheet
Whether you're looking for a simple place to start or additional tools to continue the conversation, I hope you'll find resources that meet your family where you are today.
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